:: Christ like ::
i dont get it...all i want to do is help a hardened heart... all I want to be is a good Christian and a loyal servant.. I've been troubling a case on helping a person who doesnt care about the world and people him/her. I can say he's/she's old enough to know what's right or wrong... but how come even though he/she knows... he/she still does the wrong things in life... and when I tell him/her whats rightful for him/her...he/she refuses and tells me to leave him/her in peace. I dont know why he/she doesnt listen..maybe its her undying pride. I know that what he's/she's doing makes her feel happy but life isnt really perfect if you dont go through pains and heartaches coz that's what makes a person better. I feel like there's a strong barrier around him/her preventing my words to touch his/her mind and realize what must be done. I just cant stop trying coz I feel that this is one mission that God has given me.
Each night I cry or if I hold my emotions, i'd mourn inside my thoughts. why is that you ask? well.. i just cant take sin anymore.. my conscience is sooo sensitive that even little things make my mind go crazy if I dont deal with it properly. Seeing other people sin makes my heart weep. I always say to myself "Oh Lord, may You bless this person for he/she doesnt know what he's/she's doing.".. well, dont get me wrong, but I myself sin too... but truly, I learn from my mistakes! when my parents tell me not to do this.. I wont. but even though "this person" was told again and again and again, over and over and over, still, wise words dont seem to tap him/her on him/her back whispering "hey, that's bad.. stop that".. even slapping him/her around and loud screaming of a person who should be respected all his/her life doesnt give a damn difference.. [sigh] i ask myself.. is helping this kind of person wrong? is it better to leave him/her alone so she'd turn worse? is it ok to see someone sin and falsly letting him/her know that its right? "Oh God! I cannot deal with this on my own, I need You so bad. this mission is tearing me to pieces but I know I cant give up coz I can hear you whispering at my ear..* Yes my child, do it* ". and i dont wanna pretend to be deaf coz God is the One who gave me the ability to hear in the first place... and He could take that away in just a blink of an eye..
Each night I cry or if I hold my emotions, i'd mourn inside my thoughts. why is that you ask? well.. i just cant take sin anymore.. my conscience is sooo sensitive that even little things make my mind go crazy if I dont deal with it properly. Seeing other people sin makes my heart weep. I always say to myself "Oh Lord, may You bless this person for he/she doesnt know what he's/she's doing.".. well, dont get me wrong, but I myself sin too... but truly, I learn from my mistakes! when my parents tell me not to do this.. I wont. but even though "this person" was told again and again and again, over and over and over, still, wise words dont seem to tap him/her on him/her back whispering "hey, that's bad.. stop that".. even slapping him/her around and loud screaming of a person who should be respected all his/her life doesnt give a damn difference.. [sigh] i ask myself.. is helping this kind of person wrong? is it better to leave him/her alone so she'd turn worse? is it ok to see someone sin and falsly letting him/her know that its right? "Oh God! I cannot deal with this on my own, I need You so bad. this mission is tearing me to pieces but I know I cant give up coz I can hear you whispering at my ear..* Yes my child, do it* ". and i dont wanna pretend to be deaf coz God is the One who gave me the ability to hear in the first place... and He could take that away in just a blink of an eye..
erica loved @
6:34 PM
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